I Am a Woman - Attending the Women's Conference 2010

I never burned my bra.  By just a few years, I missed the Woodstock Generation.  I was born into an Italian-American-Catholic family and who I was, was very much defined by my roles...first as daughter and sister and then, after I married in 1963, as wife, then mother.  I was always conscientious and sought my worth by fulfilling those roles to the best of my ability.  In 1972 I was the mother of three little boys.

1971 with boys

I cooked a well-balanced dinner each night, often with homemade bread.  I sewed my own clothes, even making Easter sport coats for my sons and my own curtains and drapes.  I took baked items to my parents and friends and even learned to decorate cakes for special family celebrations.  I was a good daughter, wife, mother and happy with my life...yet inside I began to wonder if there might be more to me as an individual.

This was also the year that Australian singer, Helen Reddy, achieved fame with her #1 single hit..."I Am Woman."



At the time I remember how much a loved this song and as I sang along...."if I had to, I can do anything...I am strong, I am invincible...I am WOMAN!" I would feel a sense of empowerment rising within me that had nothing to do with any of my roles...just from my essence as a woman. At the time, I thought this song was strident, revolutionary...such a strong statement! Yet, as I listen to it now, all I hear is happiness and joy!

Before my retirement, I worked at an aerospace company that also empowered me.  In a male-dominated world, I was able to have a fulfilling career with many opportunities for growth.  Each year, at the company's expense, I was able to attend the Women's Conference sponsored by the current First Lady of the State of California.  Often I was also able to take other women on my staff with me for a day of inspiration and introspection... a wonderful perk for a working woman.  When you are out of the workplace, it is a bit harder to acquire tickets so when I was given an offer by a friend to purchase tickets, I immediately bought two...one for me and one for my daughter-in-love, Milli.

Yesterday was the second time Milli and I attended the conference together.  We spent the entire day in the company of 15,000 other women, listening to the voices and the stories of such inspirational women as Chief Justices Sandra Day O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsberg, First Lady Michelle Obama, "Second" Lady Dr. Jill Biden, former First Lady Laura Bush, sensitive poet Mary Oliver, and the grand dame of the entire day, First Lady of California and host of the event, magnificent Maria Schriver. We heard the voices of other women who have led major companies, women who have overcome tremendous personal obstacles, faced their fears and moved onward, women who have reached out to make a dramatic difference in their little corner of the world, women who shared, as only women seemed to be able to do...woman to woman...talking from the heart with a candor and emotion that is raw and palpable. We were touched, inspired, motivated, empowered and most of all in awe of the wonderful gift we each possessed to express the beauty of our individual selves as, yes, daughters, wives, mothers, friends, but all springing from the core essence of who we are...woman!  On the way home Milli and I talked a mile a minute...about what had impressed us, what we were feeling, and what our own personal hopes and dreams are...we shared, not as mother and daughter but as two women, heart to heart.  What a gift!    

Milli and Me!

If I had to, I can do anything...I am stong, I am invincible, I am WOMAN....

I Am a Traveler - On the Road with Red Meat

Ten glorious days spent on our road trip up and down the coast from Los Angeles to Napa, CA.  What creates our memories:

Images of rolling hillsides dotted with the distinctive California Oaks.

Stretches of pristine blue Pacific coastline...shared with bikers and surfers.

Smelling the whiffs of pungent garlic aroma as we pass by Gilroy, CA.

Rows of grapevines creating a sea of parallel lines covering rolling hills.

Tasting sips of the California liquid fruit of the vine at various wineries.

Migrant workers hunched over acres of agriculture to provide us with products from the California salad bowl.

Watching the display of the gas and battery dance on the dashboard of our rented Prius.

Listening to the upbeat sounds of the new Red Meat CD filling the car.

Jay and I have always enjoyed music but when we were introduced to Honky-Tonk Country music a number of years ago by my cousin, Michael Montalto, who plays the electric guitar with the Bay Area band, Red Meat, we were hooked.  Once a year the band comes south to perform at the Cinema Bar in Culver City and we are there, front and center, to enjoy some of the happiest music on the planet.  For this trip we took their latest CD "Red Meat LIVE at the World's Smallest Honky Tonk" and we played it up and down the state.  Each of the band members added to the experience.  Smelly Kelly had us laughing and shaking our heads at his clever and sometimes outrageous banter with Jill and the audience as he finessed lyrics like "Go on home Mr. Johnson, Mrs. Johnson misses you!"  Jill Olson caused us to take a detour and actually drive through King City and it gave us a whole new perspective on her song, "Queen of King City."  Scott Young with his fantastic lyrics, compositions, vocals and instrumentation...that trombone made us want to stand up and shout...caused us to, again, marvel at his talent.  And my personal favorite, Michael, with his magical fingers on the guitar strings, his riffs, and his composition "Moonrock"...well, it was hard to sit still in the car while he plays; you just want to move!  And holding all of it together, corralling all of them with his honky-tonk beat, is drummer, Les James.

These days, California often makes headlines and you only have to pick up the newspaper and read to see some of the "tarnish on the Golden State" as Smelly sings....but I have to say that driving that stretch of the Central Coast and through the Napa and Sonoma Valleys, we fell in love with California all over again.

I Am an Adventurer - Trying Out a Hybrid Car

We have scheduled all of this year's travel for the fall months and though the suitcase is still warm from our trip to Europe, we are packing to leave tomorrow morning for a road trip to Northern California.  As we mature, we have gained a greater appreciation for vintage items and our cars, both 1993 models, fall into that category and are not reliable enough for a long jaunt.  So seeing this as a great opportunity to try out some new technology, we have rented a hybrid, a Toyota Prius, for the trip.

Jay with rental Prius

Jay is a scholar, scientist, economist and has spent the last few years immersed in the study of the energy crisis; peak oil, sustainability, carbon-footprint are words that float around our house.  Here was a chance to put our money where his mouth is and see how we might like to drive a more energy-efficient automobile.  After a trip to the local Toyota dealer to test drive a model and find out how to turn on the windshield wipers, we picked up our rental car from Enterprise and have a day to become comfortable with it before we set out.

Remember the days when you simply took the key, slid it into the keyhole, turned gently to the right, placed your foot on the accelerator and then eased forward?  Well, no more.  We spent much of the day becoming acquainted with the Prius...first watching a carefully-crafted manufacturer's DVD, then sitting in the front seat, manual open in the lap, hunting for the bells and whistles.

Prius Dashboard

We are eager to experience this new car.  At the same time we are reminded of how quickly technology is developing and how easily it is to be left behind in the dust.  There is a sense of trepidation and disorientation as we take these first steps.  Is the car really on?  I don't hear anything! What was that double beep?  Why is that icon flashing? Is if off now?  We felt these same feelings when we bought our HD television, our little Netbook, our Kindles.  Yet each time we master a new skill or figure out a new piece of equipment we feel a bit smarter, a bit energized and yes, a bit "younger!"

I am reminded of something Eleanor Roosevelt said..."Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his (her) back on life."
Now about those smart phones...

I Am a Reader - Gifts in the Mail

I cannot remember a time when I could not read.  Some of my earliest memories are of standing before the children's librarian at the Kent Free Library and giving my oral book report so I could get another book added to my list of books in the summer reading program.  Book have transported me, informed me, entertained me, educated me, soothed me.  I ascribe to the saying..."So many books, so little time!"  Jay is also a book lover and the books accumulate in stacks in corners of our house, multiplying like rabbits!  Most of the books I read still come from my public library, but now I browse the inventory through the online catalog rather than strolling through the stacks, requesting books electronically and picking them up at my local branch when they arrive for me.  However, I also have another way of obtaining books that always feels like Christmas.

A couple of years ago a friend introduced me to the website, Librarything.com.  I was immediately hooked because it gave me a place to catalog the books I had read on a virtual bookshelf, to read reviews of new books and to get recommendations from others about interesting books they have read.  It also introduced me to the Early Reviewers Giveaway Program.  Each month the website lists a number of Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) books available for members who would like to read a new book and then post a review of it on the website.  I could do this!  I have been giving book reports since I was a child in Kent.  So in the months when I am lucky enough to win an ARC, a free book arrives in my mailbox. "Merry Christmas!"

Last month I received the book, City of Tranquil Light by Bo Caldwell.

I have always been drawn to books about China, especially those told from a cultural perspective, so I was pleased.  The setting is the North China Plain in the early 20^th century.  The main characters are Will Kiehn and his wife, Katherine, both Mennonite missionaries who met and married while on mission in China.  The story is a narration of their experiences for 27 years ministering to the people of the area during a time of change and upheaval.

The author based the novel on journals that she had of her own grandparents and she uses the journal approach in telling her story.  The main narrator is Will and his story is told from a backward glance perspective…recounting the events, as an elderly man, that they had experienced in the past.  But we also hear from Katherine, her entries being told in the present tense, as commentary that fleshes out the events in real time.  What comes across is a gentle story of love, devotion and commitment, based in a very realistic awareness of life’s hardships and the human condition.  This is not a “sappy” nor “cloying” recounting.  It is more a account of an honest effort to practice what they preach in always trying to do all they can for the good of the people out of love. The result is a life of hardship, of living in poverty-stricken China and experiencing the loss of a child, infused with the satisfaction of a life of meaning from doing what they can to help others.  It does not devolve into a preachy novel, but is told simply and with sincerity.  The accounts of the events in China are very realistically portrayed and I learned much from the book.  I highly recommend it.  

The best thing about ARCs is that when I am finished reading it, since it was a gift to me, I can pass it on to someone else..."Merry Christmas!"

I Am an American - Returning from our Trip to Europe

We have returned from a very enjoyable two week trip to The Netherlands and Germany and as I attempt to get my juices flowing again for the blog I am trying to decide what was the most significant thing about this trip.  We had new experiences, met new people, tried new foods, heard new languages and yet what keeps popping into my head as I think is..."coming home" and the huge sense of gratitude I felt that I am a citizen of the United States.

I think one value of foreign travel is that you can look back on the distant shore you have left and gain a new perspective of "home."  I want to be an informed person and since my husband dissects the three newspapers we still have delivered to our house, I feel compelled to try to keep pace with him by reading the news.  It is easy to become cynical, to see only the warts on our red, white and blue.  There IS bad news...the economy, the financial debacle, the inability of our elected legislators to work together for the good of the nation and to resolve issues, the high unemployment...and on and on.  Yet despite all this negativity, when looked at it as a whole, we who grace these shores live in a land that continues to offer freedom, to place a value on the individual and to present an environment of choice and multiple options for its people...elements that are envied and longed for by others.

The image that comes to my mind is of an incident that occurred when we were in the lovely Romantic Rhine River village of Bacharach.  It was the day before we were to return home and we wanted to walk the streets of the lovely town that has a medieval feel with winding narrow streets, to walk atop the remains of the town wall, and to hike as far as we could up to the castle.  About halfway to the castle we stopped at a stone platform with low stone wall that looked out over the neighboring vineyards. 

Patricia and Jay in Bacharach

A young man, about 20 years old, approached us holding out his camera and gestured with the question, "Would we take a picture of him and his girlfriend?"  We did and then we began to talk to them.  They were eager to practice their English and did not want to move on.  So, we discovered that they were from East Germany.  They were students, he of Automotive Engineering and she of Business Management of Health Systems.  They did not remember the coming down of the Berlin Wall but they remembered the hard times as Eastern Germany tried to get on its feet.  Life is better for them now but it is not perfect. 

Jay talking to the young couple.

When they asked where lived and heard our response of the United States, the state of California, the only word to describe the look on their face was "hunger."  They had never been to the US but they said with deep emotion..."To go to the United States is our highest dream."

Europe is a wonderful place to visit.  It is full of history and lessons of the struggle to survive through some difficult eras.  It gifts visitors with its art, its landscape, its music and literature.  As descendants of immigrants it is also our heritage.  But what we have in the United States is the gift of possibility. There is always the opportunity to reinvent yourself, to begin anew, to succeed through your own efforts and capabilities. We possess an energy, an optimistic can-do philosophy that will continue to serve us well.  I am so proud to be an American and so grateful to be home.