I Am A Grandmother - Staying Young With Gabriel

I am at a time in my life when I find myself reading articles and books on how to hold on to my youthful vigor...or at least how to slow down the descent into an aging shuffle!  I eat fresh vegetables, take brisk walks in the neighborhood, try to maintain a reasonable weight, drink lots of water.  But nothing seems to be as successful in my endeavors as spending extended time with my 10 year old...11 in 11 days he just reminded me...grandson, Gabriel.  Gabe is on summer vacation. Since his parents both have full time jobs and since their social schedule is packed with Stanley Cup Victory Events, he just spent two full day with us, including a sleepover!

Gabe on his air mattress with his stuffed dog, Anze (yes, named after Kopitar!)

A ten year old boy has lots of energy and most of all, does not want to be bored!  So, on his second day, after he patiently spent time with us at an Omnilore Computer Talk, we treated him to bowling!  Gabe has bowled before but it has been YEARS since I have held a bowling ball. 

Gabriel has nice form!

Grandpa Jay quickly bowed out by claiming he could not risk upsetting his temperamental back and he assumed the position of coach, explaining to me, repeatedly, what I was doing wrong in between turning pages of his book on Climate Change. 

The Coach

He expertly pointed out what was wrong with my approach, how to compensate for it and wondered why I did not follow his direction! 

I did the best I could, Coach!

Gabe did pretty well...got a few spares and even one strike!

After getting a STRIKE!

 Gabe proudly beat me in all games! 

A final score...note the comment about the Kings running along the bottom of the screen!

Then after dinner, we three sat on the floor....yes, the floor...to play cards while we waited for his parents to come to get him.

Jay giving some pointer about Rummy!

Do I feel younger?  Well, I must admit I never did my get bowling groove back and I was not so quick to get up and down from the floor, but in the process if I did not feel younger, at least I felt FULLY ALIVE!  I guess the fact that I am going to see my doctor this morning for an aggravated sciatica nerve down my left leg is a small price to pay.

Thank you, Gabriel, for your youth, your enthusiasm, and the energy you bring into our lives!

I Am A Grassroots Member - Participating in TEDx

As I watch life and age sneak up on me I find myself having an even greater appreciation for opportunities that feel new and inject an energy and enthusiasm into my life.  Since retirement, Jay and I have promised to help each other push boundaries and walk through doors that might present a new experience or a new perspective or a new group of people.  We walk through, look around, and then decide to stay or to walk out.

Last night we walked through a door when we attended a gathering of the TEDx Manhattan Beach.

We have long been enthusiasts of TED talks.  TED stands for Technology, Entertainment & Design and the talks are short - maybe 20 minutes long - FREE videos on a variety of topics...all "Ideas worth spreading"...all stimulating and informative, all generating interesting discussions.  We have watched and discussed numerous TED talks in the comfort of our living room or in Omnilore Study/Discussion Groups.  Here is a quote from the TED mission statement:

We believe passionately in the power of ideas 

to change attitudes, lives and ultimately, the world.

So we're building here a clearinghouse that offers

 free knowledge and inspiration from the world's most inspired thinkers, 

and also a community of curious souls to engage with ideas and each other.

While TED spreads ideas on a very global stage, its offshoot, TEDx focuses on a local community that concentrates on local voices, bringing people together to engage on a specific topic by viewing a few TED videos or listening to a TEDx speaker and then discussing the content.  TEDx was started in 2009 and now includes 1200 cities and 33 countries. Here is an interesting article with statistics in a recent Forbes Magazine.

Last night's gathering, sponsored by the local Manhattan Beach group, was focused on the topic of "Globalization."  Since it was a topic of interest to us, was held just a few miles from our home, and the price was minimal ($10 each), we decided to walk through the door and take a look around.

The first hour was for "networking," enjoying a glass of wine or beer and a variety of appetizers.  What we first noticed was that this was a new mix of people for us and happily, our age cohort was not the dominant group....there were "young people!" with youthful perspectives, youthful ideas, youthful energy!  That is the one difficulty we have in our retirement life, finding avenues to interact with younger people like we did in the work world.

After a very pleasant mingle which included talking to the organizer of the Manhattan Beach TEDx, John Marston, we all adjourned to the presentation room to watch three TED videos on the topic of Globalization: first, Paddy Ashdown, giving a TEDx talk filmed recently in Brussells on the Global Power Shift; second was our personal favorite presenter, Hans Rosling, using his fantastic graphics to show data on Religion and Babies; and lastly Gordon Brown talking on Wiring a Web for Global Good.  In between each video, John Marston facilitated a spirited discussion among the attendees.  Bottom line, the world is not what it used to be, interconnectivity and interdependency brings us into a global society that is continuing to evolve and bringing with it new sets of needs and challenges.

On the way home, Jay and I talked about how much we had enjoyed the evening.  While not political in nature, TEDx  fosters healthy discussion with new insights.  We came away with the thought that maybe it is going to be activities like TEDx that are going to bring about change of our current global and political structure. Currently this structure is broken and the powers-that-be are so vested in the status quo and so polarized that we do not seem to see to any positive change...maybe it is going to have to come from the grass roots, from gatherings like "Occupy" and "bloggers on the internet" and events like TEDx and Zocalo that provide a place for discussion of new ideas that will bring new blood and new life to our world scene.  Thankfully, we can be part of that discussion and part of the solution, adding our ideas, meeting some new friends, and even having a glass of wine!

I Am A Mother - Sharing Michael's Moment

"Who AM I?" I sometimes ask myself.  One of the first words that pops into my head is, "Mother."  This role often dominates my self image. Bearing and raising three sons, each so unique, each different, has brought into my life some of my richest joys and some of my deepest pains.  Nothing hurts a mother as much as watching her child hurting and not being able to do anything about it.  Nothing fills a mother's being as much as watching her child rejoicing and being privileged to stand on the sidelines and feel her own heart and eyes spill over.

Michael Anthony Altieri is my second son.  Born just 15 months after his older brother, Joey, when I was a mere 23 years old, I wondered how I was going to handle life and these two little ones.  But fortune smiled on me...because from the day he graced this earth, Michael demonstrated the qualities that would guide his life. He was the easiest child...capable, considerate, conscientious...a child that captured your heart.

It was impossible to grow up in our household and not be a sports fan. Like his brothers, he played sports, collected trading cards, had posters of his heroes (like Wayne Gretsky) on the wall, even cut school to attend a special sporting event!  When he was a Communications Major at Long Beach State University he decided that the life path that would make him happiest was to take his skills and find a way to use them in the Sports Industry.  A meeting and subsequent internship with John Black (PR Director for the LA Lakers) and a first job from Jeannie Buss as PR Director for the LA Blades Roller Hockey team, set him on the path for his current position as Vice President of Communications and Broadcasting for AEG Sports.  In time, Michael advanced through the organization and I would often be in a position to see him in his role dealing with co-workers, players, and management and what was so apparent was that Michael continued to be an older version of the child I knew...capable, considerate, conscientious...well-respected by all who worked with him.

Michael working a Kings game at the Forum.

Michael was never one to call attention to himself or to toot his own horn...(his job was to toot the horn for others)...but he knew that as a mother I wanted to share in his special moments.  So occasionally I would quietly receive an email picture from him just to let me know that:

He had to handle a Press conference and someone snapped this photo:

Press Conference - 2005

He had to participate in the NHL draft and someone snapped this photo:

NHL Draft - 2003

He happened to have an extra team photo with him at the end of the second row that I might like:

Would I like to sponsor him in the Beard-a-thon?:

He had to respond to some media questions and someone captured the video:

He had to accompany the LA Galaxy to meet the President and someone snapped this photo of him shaking the president's hand:

President Obama reaching for Michael's hand.

And as a typical mother, I treasured these mementos as much as I did the school drawings that used to don my refrigerator door.

I asked him once to tell me his approach that helped him do so well in his job and he replied, "Mom, no matter what happens, I always try to take the high road."  That describes his approach to not just his professional life, but to life in general.  That is what my son has taught ME.

Over the years Michael has had other opportunities to move about in the industry, but after considering the pros and cons he always remained where he was, a part of the LA Kings family.  He would say how he loved the team, how he believed in them, how he wanted to be with them when they won their first Stanley Cup because he knew they would do it.  This year his loyalty paid off. The Kings captured the Stanley Cup and Michael was immersed in all of it, competently handling his responsibility while reveling in the victory.

Embracing Jonathan Quick after the Stanley Cup WIN!

The Team Photo taken after the Final Game of the Stanley Cup Play-offs

Culmination of 17 years...lifting the Stanley Cup!!!

I was fortunate to be able to attend a few of the play-off games and to participate in the Black Parade and victory Rally the team provided for all their loyal fans. I watched him interacting with the press and team, I watched him share his joy with those who mean the most to him, his family...Milli and Gabriel.

Michael with Milli and Gabriel at the Fan Rally

Michael enjoying a special moment with Gabriel at the rally.

I was a mother....sharing his moment, standing on the sidelines and watching...as my heart and my eyes spilled over.

I Am A Demonstrator - World Wide Knitting in Public Day

From the time I was a child, I knew that there were public things and private things.  I can still hear my mother's voice chastising me once when we were outside and I started to put my finger in my nose..."Patricia, we do not do that in public!"  I was warned that things that happen within the family, stay within the family and are not to be broadcast to the world. "We do not air our dirty laundry!"  When we were out of the house and I was wearing my pretty new dress and shiny patent leather shoes, I was reminded "A lady always keeps her knees together and her ankles crossed in public." There are things we do in public and things we do in the privacy of our own homes.  Overtime, these boundaries can seem to blur.  I know today it is not unusual to see a young mother discretely nursing her infant in public and it touches my heart, but I always retired to a back bedroom when I nursed my babies...thinking it made others uncomfortable if I were to do it in public and it just wasn't "seemly!"  And...there are many articles written about "PDAs" (Public Displays of Affection) and when is it just tooooo much! So what about knitting?  Is knitting one of those activities that should be confined to ones home or is it OK to knit in public?

I will never forget the first time a woman friend and member of our Learning-in-Retirement organization took out her knitting when one of the presenters began to give his presentation to the class.  The look of horror on the faces of other class members was memorable.  My friend, recognizing the non-verbal signals, calmly assured everyone that she was perfectly capable of knitting while listening to a lecture and would also be making intelligent comments...she could do two things at once!  She broke the glass knitting ceiling!

Today, I ventured out to a very public place, Wilson Park in Torrance, to join other members of my Slipt Stitchers Knitting Guild who were participating in the 2012 World Wide Knit In Public Day.  

This is the largest knitter run event in the world.  It began in 2005 and grows each year in participation. Thoughout the world, on the second Saturday of June, knitters gather in public venues...in parks, in malls, in libraries, in coffee shops.... Even in Palermo,Sicily at the Fiori in Zucca shop, Italian knitters would be celebrating: “GIORNATA MONDIALE DELLA MAGLIA IN PUBBLICO"!!!!   Yes, knitters demonstrate to the general public...demonstrate their knitting and demonstrate that knitting can be a community activity.  I am sure today we broke the stereotype of the grey-haired granny sitting in her rocking chair with her needles clicking (while we do have some of those too!)

as we sat in our circle outside the Sports Center and next to the Weekly Farmers' Market and talked to passers-by and each other about the craft of knitting.

 Fred, one of our members who gives us gender diversity, also showed up and a woman who stopped by to speak to us said she knits and so does her husband!

While the actual event is fairly new, I stumbled across the photo taken in 1941 of the Queen Mother with her daughters, Princesses Elizabeth and Margaret, showing off some of their knitting supplies that they received from Canada as Britain was rationing for the war effort. I don't know if their surroundings was a public area but it was outside!

So today was fun... a wonderful way to pass a few hours of the morning,

I do enjoy knitting...this is the beginning of a baby blanket for charity.

sharing knitting secrets, laughing, telling stories, buying fresh vegetables and delicious hot food from the market and showing the world..."Better Living Through Stitching Together."

I Am A Mountaineer - Visiting Idyllwild

Anyone who REALLY knows me will tell you that one of my favorite words is "sale."  I think I have a genetic predisposition to not pay full price for anything.  My husband does not understand and will question why I will spend 50 cents on gas to drive to save a nickle.  He doesn't get that for me, it is a matter of principle not economy!  But he was quite happy with my skill at acquiring a very bargain price for a 2 night stay at a "boutique motel" through Living Social, the online business that offers daily deals and discounts on everything from a Pilates class to spa treatments to "escapes!"  And escape we did for three days and two nights to Idyllwild, CA in the mountains of Riverside County, less than 2 hours away from home.

I had never been to Idyllwild but Jay remembered it as a very pleasant laid-back mountain village and he knew I would like it.

We stayed at the Strawberry Creek Bunkhouse, located right on the main highway that runs through Idyllwild.

While nothing fancy it had many "boutique" amenities that made us feel like welcomed guests.  There was a chilled bottle of champagne from a local vineyard waiting for us.  Our tiny room had a tiny balcony in the back that overlooked the forested mountainside.

Each morning at 9 a knock on the door indicated a basket outside holding scones still warm from the oven, with homemade lemon curd, apples, oatmeal packets and juice.

We did what we tend to do when go off on a trip.  We spend the time together...we walk, we talk, we read side by side,

We enjoyed sitting in the front reading!

we discover bookstores,

find the local library

and each night we look forward to trying a new restaurant for dinner.  Our find this trip was Cafe Aroma, a restaurant cum art gallery cum jazz venue.  Our dinner was wonderful and we sat outside on the deck

as we enjoyed the Tuesday night live Jazz entertainment

and discovered a new wine!

We relaxed, relished the fresh air and the slow pace, and even found time to stop at the local Pizza Company to watch the LA Kings win the first Stanley Cup Finals play-off game.

As wonderful as the time was, it also included some sobering realizations. When we checked into the motel, we noticed a small wooden arrow with the words "Trail" stenciled on it. Thinking we would take a walk in the woods before going to dinner, we headed in the direction that the arrow pointed to the backside of the motel.  Soon we found ourselves on a very steep incline of steps heading down toward the sound of water...must be Strawberry Creek!  However, our enthusiasm was quickly tempered as we began to navigate the steps.  They were deep steps...maybe 18 inches to 2 feet.  The area between each step sloped down making slipping on the fine gravel a possibility.  We slowed our step, became cautious...hesitant.  We reached for each other's hands.  After about 7 or 8 steps, we looked around and decided to stop and sit.

We looked at each other with the growing awareness that at one time we would have bounded down these steps.  We were no longer frisky colts!  We tried to tell each other it was OK.  We know we are young at heart and young in spirit.  We are not old...old is the always the age that you haven't gotten to yet! But there was a sense of foreboding lurking....  We are no longer as invincible as we perceived ourselves to be in the past.  Anna Quindlen writes that when she senses the aging she feels many things, and one of them is frightened...not frightened of death, but of weakness and incapacity.  So we turned around and retraced our steps back to higher, level ground.

And the next day we went in search of other trails we could navigate with more ease.  We stopped at the Idyllwild Nature Center and walked the perimeter trail to the Center where we enjoyed their displays and videos of the native Indian cultures that inhabited these mountains.  There was a spring in our step as we felt the fresh breeze, listened to the birds and spotted scurrying lizards.  Maybe that is what life is about for us now...searching for new paths...finding new trails.

Life is good!