I Am A Grandmother - Waiting for Jessie

I am the mother of three sons.  I have always said that I LOVED raising boys.   

Joey, Michael and Marc....aren't they darling!!

I loved the spontaneity, the dirty faces, the muddy shoes, the treasures in their pockets, their openness, their daredevil approach to life.  My sons were very different from each other in many ways, but they were “all boy” in others.  Through the years I tripped over balls, little toy soldiers, plastic monsters.  I picked up football cards.  I listened to the sound of the baseball being thrown against the back wall as one son continued to practice fielding the ball, and the sound of the basketball being bounced in the driveway as another perfected his shots.  I fed the stray dogs that were brought home.  Weekends were filled with the sound of the TV announcers giving play-by-play of the season’s sport.  I sat in numerous bleachers, watching “my numbered jersey” perform athletic feats, and I clutched my heart as young bodies sped off on motorcycles.  I LOVED my boys.  

My mother used to worry about me because I didn’t have a daughter.  She feared I would be alone when my sons married.  She would quote the old adage… "A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter’s a daughter for the rest of her life.” I told her not to worry.  I was going to work at being the best mother-in-law I could be and was sure my sons would choose women who would accept me into their lives.  And they did!

My beautiful, wonderful daughters-in-Love....Milli and Charlotte.

Each of my sons has fathered a son.  I sat in waiting rooms 3 times and heard the words… “It’s a boy!” And again, as a Grandmother, I revisit all the experiences of being surrounded by young boys exploring their place in the world.

Now a new dynamic is about to enter my life.  I am going to have a granddaughter. My youngest son, Marc, and his wife Charlotte, are going to have a little girl.  Marc was supposed to be my girl.  After 2 boys, I was sure this third child would be female.  Her name would be Maria.  However, “It’s a boy” Dr. McBride announced as he delivered Marc, not Maria...and from the moment Marc was placed in my arms he entered my heart.  So I guess it is fitting that he is the child who gives me my granddaughter.

Marc and Charlotte presented this to me to announce the baby's gender!

Her name will be Jessie Patricia Altieri.  She will be born on Monday, September 26 by C-section at Long Beach Memorial Hospital.  We will all be in the waiting room, even Big Brother Gino.   

Gino in his "Promoted to Big Brother" shirt!

I am so excited to meet this new little person.  She comes from long lines of strong women on both sides of her family, women who could take of themselves and others; women who were not afraid to try new things…new lands…new sports…new ventures; women who were not felled by adversity or problems; women who believed in themselves and were leaders of others.  I am sure that some of that unique DNA will be passed along to her. 

Thank you, Marc and Charlotte for the gift of this new grandchild and Jessie Patricia, we are all waiting for you with open arms!

Charlotte's Hospital Suitcase

I Am A Ritualist - Marc & Charlotte's New Home

When Jay and I were dating, one question I asked him was “What rituals are important to you?”   

To him a ritual had a religious connotation and he said he had none.  To me, rituals were more like traditions…certain behaviors we perform around meaningful events. 

My first memory of a ritual was how we were taught to greet our great-grandparents.  Grandma and Grandpa Rosso spoke Italian and I was taught to approach them politely, say “Si benedica” (Bless me), and they would put their hand on my head and say “Dio ti benedica” (God bless you). Then I would get a kiss!  That ritual bonded me to them.

Later, as my children were growing, when they would leave the house I would often make a cross on their forehead before they left, saying “God bless you and keep you safe!”  In fact sometimes, if I didn’t, my youngest Marc, would run up to me and say “Aren’t you going to bless me?”

I guess some rituals could be called superstitions, some could be aids to reduce anxiety, some could hold a religious significance.  But for the most part, I think of them as glue that holds us together as a family!

Yesterday I had the opportunity to enact a ritual that I especially enjoy.  Marc, Charlotte and Gino received the keys to a house they just purchased in Long Beach. 

They asked us to meet them at the house for our first “tour.”   

Whenever a family member moves into a new house my first visit to the home includes bringing 4 specific Italian Housewarming items:  A bottle of wine, a loaf of bread, a box of salt and a broom.

Bread (il pane): the staff of life, symbolizing Basic Sustenance

Salt (il sale): symbolizing the extra zest to lift life from the ordinary

Wine (il vino): symbolizing joy and happiness

Broom (la scopa): symbolizing the "sweeping out" of old baggage, old problems, negative emotions

I don’t know who appreciates the ritual more…the recipient or ME.  It is a way for me to acknowledge all the good things I wish for them and it also says…no matter where you go, where you live, how old you are, or how many times we might disagree, somethings are constant and you can count on them.  We are a family and nothing can take that away.

Some of my children have more brooms than others!  I remember Joe telling me once when he was preparing for yet another move, "I was going to pack my old broom but then I remembered...Mom will be bringing me a new one!”

Marc, Charlotte and Gino…I wish you much happiness in your new home.  May its walls hold the sounds of love and laughter!

I Am A Grandmother - Welcoming Gino Bossie Altieri to the World

The past 4 days have been like a whirlwind and my heart is so full.  Marc and Charlotte gave birth to my newest little grandson, Gino Bossie Altieri, born on December 11, 2014, weighing 8 lbs. 4 oz., 21 inches long, and looking perfect…a perfect blend of his mom and his dad.   

I have wanted to write a blog to capture the event but didn’t know what I would write.  How do I capture in words an experience that is beyond words?  But I know that once I start writing, any blog really writes itself…so here goes!

Gino is the son of my third son, Marc...my baby.  I have always been amazed that each of my children has a unique connection to me, and since Marc was 5 years younger than his brother Mike, he and I had time together, as if he was an only child, while his brothers were in school. Because of that, I think we have a unique connection.  We would run errands together during the day, and he would sit in the passenger seat next to me with his little feet barely hanging over the seat edge, and he would chatter away telling me all the important things that were in his little mind.  He told me “I think my hobby is talking!”  And we have always talked.  Sometimes joyfully, sometimes painfully…but we have always talked and shared honestly what was inside of us. 

For years I listened as Marc told me of his desire to have a family.  He didn’t long for fancy things, or status…in fact he seemed to go out of his way to prove he was different.  But he did long for a life partner and a family.  However…he never met a girl that he could connect with in a soulful, meaningful way.  He would tell me that maybe he needed to accept the fact that he would remain a bachelor, that he would never have a family.  I carried his longing in my heart.

Then at 43, he met Charlotte and his life changed.  He found someone who wanted all the love he had to give and would accept him for who he was…would love him with a warmth and sensitivity and spirit  that is priceless.  She was someone that he could gather in, love and protect, support and share life with in a way that was authentic.  They are so good together!

Marc and Charlotte - 2013

So at 44 he became a father and he and Charlotte brought Gino into our life.  I have been amazed at how the two of them approached this birth, truly a team.  Marc went to every Dr.’s appointment, charted her progress, photographed her growing figure, talked to his son in-utero.  He attended lactation classes and ended up knowing more about breastfeeding than I did, after nursing three children. He never left her side through the entire delivery and recovery.

Cutting the cord.

Hi little guy!

First Family Photo!

The day of the birth, it was truly a family event.  Everyone was gathered at the waiting room of Long Beach Memorial Hospital.  

Uncle Fred & Aunt Sharon, Joey & Kimberly, Poppa, Mom & Jay and Mike Pedersen...waiting!

His brother Michael, who was on a business trip, was connected through constant text messages.  Michael even had Facetime with his new nephew via his iPhone just hours after the birth. 

Hi Uncle Mike!

But I honestly don’t know what thrilled me more…the gift of this precious new baby or watching the elation on the face of my son.  

 

In the room, with Charlotte's Aunt Vickee, her brother Brian & Samantha

Parenting is not easy.  Having my three sons has given me the greatest joys and the most intense pain  I have experienced in my life.  All any parent wants for their children is their happiness.  Seeing Marc so radiant with joy…holding his son, calming him, changing is diaper, helping him latch on to Charlotte’s breast, tending to Charlotte’s needs…my heart is so full and I am so grateful.

So this blog did write itself.  And surprise…it was more about Marc than about Gino!  But I guess  that is my perspective as a mother.  We remarked in the waiting room that having a child is having your heart walk outside of your body.  That holds true whether that child is 1 day old or 44 years old.  

The greatest joy for me is that Marc and Charlotte have invited me in.  They have allowed me to be intimately involved in this glorious event.  And isn’t that all any parent longs for…to be allowed to share in their children’s lives…be it joy or sadness…but to share in their lives.

 

Welcome to the world, little Gino Bossie Altieri.   

Every child should be as wanted and loved as you are!

I Am A "Mima" - Waiting for Gino's Birth!

Time flies when you are having fun!  Last August 6^th I wrote a blogpost about anticipating the arrival of my third grandchild, Gino Bossie Altieri.  At the time, Gino was about the size of a banana, weighing about 1 pound.  And now, here we are just about 4 weeks away from his arrival into our arms!

Having a new baby galvanizes a family.  Everyone on both sides of Gino’s family is caught up in the excitement.  On Saturday Milli, Charlotte’s Aunt Vickee Turner and I hosted  a Couples’ Baby Shower for  a little over 40 close family and friends.   

Milli, Vickee, Charlotte, Patricia

We ate, 

I interrupted the football game to call everyone to the table!

A buffet spread...

Fantastic cake from Vickee!

we laughed,

Have you ever heard of "pee-pee teepees!"

we told stories, played games

Milli showing items for the game, "The Price Is Right!"

Uncle Joey and Kimberly putting down their guesses.

We watched Marc and Charlotte open a multitude of gifts.  

 

Mamma Mia!  So many gifts!

Since this is my blog, I can put in the picture of the Converse booties I knitted that were part of my gift!

The most touching moment for me was when Michael handed over the family cradle to Marc.   

This cradle has rocked the family babies for almost 100 years.  Legend has it my mother was rocked in it after her birth in 1916. I know I and my siblings all occupied it.  All three of my sons were rocked in it.  And both of my grandsons, Nikolas and Gabriel were in it.  I never knew what a bassinette was…I thought everyone had cradles.  It fit so nice next to the bed and if the infant stirred all I had to do was reach out and give it a gentle push.

  

The cradled outfitted with wonderful bedding by Mike and Milli with a picture of Marc when he was in the cradle.

 Now Gabriel passed it on to his new cousin, Gino.

Just as Marc and Charlotte are preparing their house for Gino, I am preparing my “nest!”   

Gino’s Drawer is labeled and waiting for spare clothes and toys.  

 I have newborn size diapers and wipes.  

 

 I have a Burl Ives CD of some of my favorite children’s songs…like “The Little White Duck!”  

 

I wish he wasn't holding that cigar!!

The little Travel Lite bed is set up for his crib, right next to the rocking chair.  

And so we wait.  I know the day will come when we can't remember what it was like without Gino in our midst, but for the moment we wait.  How fortunate we are, that in the midst of times that can seem out-of-control, the world in turmoil and uncertainty, we can close the door on all of it and be reminded that a new baby is like the beginning of all things.  A new baby is a wonder.  A new baby is a hope for the future and a dream of possibilities.  A new baby fills a place in our heart that we never knew was empty.

Gino, the world and the family is ready for you.  Our arms and our hearts are wide open.  You are sooooo wanted!!