I Am A Ritualist - Marc & Charlotte's New Home

When Jay and I were dating, one question I asked him was “What rituals are important to you?”   

To him a ritual had a religious connotation and he said he had none.  To me, rituals were more like traditions…certain behaviors we perform around meaningful events. 

My first memory of a ritual was how we were taught to greet our great-grandparents.  Grandma and Grandpa Rosso spoke Italian and I was taught to approach them politely, say “Si benedica” (Bless me), and they would put their hand on my head and say “Dio ti benedica” (God bless you). Then I would get a kiss!  That ritual bonded me to them.

Later, as my children were growing, when they would leave the house I would often make a cross on their forehead before they left, saying “God bless you and keep you safe!”  In fact sometimes, if I didn’t, my youngest Marc, would run up to me and say “Aren’t you going to bless me?”

I guess some rituals could be called superstitions, some could be aids to reduce anxiety, some could hold a religious significance.  But for the most part, I think of them as glue that holds us together as a family!

Yesterday I had the opportunity to enact a ritual that I especially enjoy.  Marc, Charlotte and Gino received the keys to a house they just purchased in Long Beach. 

They asked us to meet them at the house for our first “tour.”   

Whenever a family member moves into a new house my first visit to the home includes bringing 4 specific Italian Housewarming items:  A bottle of wine, a loaf of bread, a box of salt and a broom.

Bread (il pane): the staff of life, symbolizing Basic Sustenance

Salt (il sale): symbolizing the extra zest to lift life from the ordinary

Wine (il vino): symbolizing joy and happiness

Broom (la scopa): symbolizing the "sweeping out" of old baggage, old problems, negative emotions

I don’t know who appreciates the ritual more…the recipient or ME.  It is a way for me to acknowledge all the good things I wish for them and it also says…no matter where you go, where you live, how old you are, or how many times we might disagree, somethings are constant and you can count on them.  We are a family and nothing can take that away.

Some of my children have more brooms than others!  I remember Joe telling me once when he was preparing for yet another move, "I was going to pack my old broom but then I remembered...Mom will be bringing me a new one!”

Marc, Charlotte and Gino…I wish you much happiness in your new home.  May its walls hold the sounds of love and laughter!