I Am A Grandmother - Cheering at the Championship Game

This weekend my grandson, Gabriel, brought his ice hockey season to a close.  Gabe is almost 10 years old and has loved hockey since he was a toddler

Gabe with his first skates and stick!

and has been on ice skates since he was 3 years old.  When he was three he took to the ice with Daryl Evans as his coach.

Milli carrying Gabriel out to the ice when he was 3.

Little Gabe on the ice with his dad and Daryl.

The fact that his dad works for the LA Kings may have something to do with it, but this boy loves hockey.  He knows all the players (his favorite is Anze Kopitar!),

Gabe and Anze Kopitar

He follows the activities of the team, the trades and the player injuries.  He spends hours every week on the computer maintaining the stats for the King's team. For the past few years he has participated in the LA Jr. Kings teams.  He plays games every weekend and we rarely miss a game.

Gabriel's dad and uncles grew up very involved in youth sports.  Whether it was Jr. All American Football, Little League Baseball or Golf they attended the practices and played in the games and I spent many hours as a young mother at practice fields in the evening and putting in my hours in the snack stands during the games.   While I know that there are many who think that organized youth sports put too much pressure on kids to perform, my experience is that these activities give youngster an outlet for all their energy, teach them the ways of working as part of a team, and help them develop physical skills and a sense of personal confidence.

His team, the Gold Kings, won this season's championship.  This was Gabe's second championship win.  His first was last year when he was on the Black Kings.

Gabe with his dad, Michael, Uncle Joey, Poppa and Uncle Marc

Gabe with his grandmother, Lola

Gabe with Mima!

Today, Gabe had a great game, he made the first goal and got an assist...and a large part of the family was there to cheer his team.

The family in the stands...parents, grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousins!

The games provide an opportunity to bring the family together to surround that boy in their support and love.  Gabe always has a "fan club" at all his games and he knows that his family is proud of him. 

When my sons were growing up, we lived in a typical suburban neighborhood.  When they came home from school, they could go out to play.  They just had to be home in time for dinner.  They could safely ride their bikes to the local park and play on their own.  They could walk to school on their own.  They made friends with the other children in the area and traipsed through each other's houses and yards.  That is not Gabriel's experience.  He also lives in a typical suburban neighborhood, but  parents do not allow their children to wander the streets without an adult.  Since he has no siblings, his parents make great efforts to arrange for play dates with friends from school to make sure he has all the interaction he can with children his age.  The world is different now.  Organized sports is one way for young children to interact with other children in a safe environment.

Gabe with his teammates before taking the ice.

Gabe played well today.  He was fully alive on the ice.  He played with his head and heart.  I am a very proud grandmother!

Gabriel with his Championship medal

I Am A Computer Geek - The Last Computer Maintenance Class

Eight years ago when talking about some minor issues we were having with our computer, our friend, Mary,  responded by saying, "You might be interested in visiting this computer class I attend.  It is an Adult Education class on computer maintenance. Some of the students are preparing to become technicians, but many of the students are just people who want to become more at ease working their computers." 

Though we were a bit hesitant, we decided to check it out...always go through an open door, right?  Thus began one of the longest relationships we have had with an instructor and a group of classmates.  That first night we walked into the classroom at Narbonne High School in Lomita, expecting to see a room full of kids, but what greeted our eyes was a roomful of mostly gray-haired retired people, predominantly former engineers, with their eyes aglow at the techy dialogue taking place.

The atmosphere was casual and friendly and it was obvious that these people knew each other well.

Holding court over this group was the instructor, Michael Ochoa.

Michael, we came to discover, was a diamond in the rough, a highly intelligent man, a gifted computer geek, and man with a heart as big as all outdoors.  It is not surprising that he was a recipient of the Teachers of Excellence Award in 2008 and 2011.  When people came to this class, they never went home.  Twice a week, on Mondays for lecture and on Wednesdays for lab, this group convened and learned the basics of computer maintenance and repair.  Over the years we have learned how to perform the basic tasks that will keep our computers running smoothly and have become familiar with various other electronic devices.  We know how to replace components, install DVD drives and additional memory, download and install various software and to solve simple situations.  If we ever had a computer problem, we could bring the computer in on a Wednesday Lab night and Michael would use it as an instructional demonstration as he repaired it for us on the spot!

We all try to capture the knowledge imparted and Jay has a huge looseleaf binder packed with 8 years of detailed notes.

The greatest benefit of this experience for me was that I discovered that I actually have an aptitude for computers.  I enjoyed troubleshooting a problem and often when Michael posed a question to the class, I actually gave the right answer. I have gained an enlarged view of who I am and what I can do and I have fun in the process.  The class has been another example to me of how beneficial it is to try something new and see where it takes you.

So it was with sadness that we saw this class come to an end.  It was not because of lack of interest.  The room was filled every night with students.  It was not because of lack of need.  People are more dependent on computers and other electronics more than ever before.  It is due to lack of funding.  School budgets have been so drastically reduced that it is the line-items considered "non-essentials," like vocational training in adult evening classes, that are the first to go.

This class has been such a benefit to all of us. Many of the members, like Anita and Marion are now able to do computer maintenance and repair on systems belonging to family members and friends. Others in the class, like Roger and I,  have gone on to even teach computer classes to other seniors in Learning-in-Retirement Programs.  We will miss the class and the people.  We will miss Julian bringing in his huge container of salted peanuts to share as well as all the current Fry's Electronic Ads often even providing personal delivery service when members ask him to purchase items for them!

We will miss Mary bringing in her old clip art and components for recycling.

We will miss the steady presence of George and his sensible questions and great sense of humor.

Where will everyone go on Monday and Wednesday evenings?  Michael says all we need is a room with an electric power plug to have a class.  Who knows.....  In the meantime, I can proudly say I am a not intimidated by any remote control and maybe, just maybe, I am also a computer geek!

Thank you, Michael!

I Am A Life's Traveler - Enjoying the Passage of Time

If you are a member of my age cohort then you remember James Taylor.  Jay often reminds me of a line from one of his songs.  It says..."The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."  This past weekend I attended a family event that made me very aware of the passing of time.  My brother's son, Jason, married Jessica.

Mr & Mrs Jason Hastings!

Jessica and Jason

The wedding was wonderful, as most weddings are.  Jason and Jessica were beautiful...so full of love and hope...and I could not help but want all good things for them.  The wedding was also an opportunity for the entire family to come together to celebrate.  As the children in the family have grown and ventured out on their own life's paths, we have scattered a bit, so the wedding gathered us once again as a family and let us catch up and reconnect.  As the event progressed I found myself looking at various relatives and my own immediate family and thinking about how quickly life slips by.  The infants are now young children,

Youngest grandson, Gabriel...almost 10 years old!

the young children are now teenagers, the teenagers are now young adults,

Oldest grandson, Nik,, 24 years old!

the young adults are now venturing into middle age,

My 3 little boys...Marc, Joe and Michael

and those of us who were middle-aged are now members of "a certain age."

Marc and my little brother, Fred.

Jay and I at the wedding.

And in the midst of it all was my mother, elderly and vibrant at aged 95.

My mother with her great-granddaughter, Chloe.

It was another reminder to me that life is really not about the destination but about the journey.  The milestones, the births, the graduations, the weddings, the retirements are special markers but they also give us a chance to pause and look around.  To see where we have been and to relish where we are now.  Sometimes where we are now may not be too comfortable, but one thing we can count on, is that life is going to change.  Life is dynamic and nothing stays the same. I remember being told that when the going gets rough to remember what you are advised when white water rafting if you happen to tip over in the rapids..."Don't grasp for rocks and boulders...but let the river carry you....float like a leaf and trust in the flow of the river."

Milestones give us the chance to notice who is on the path with us.  James Taylor also says in that same song, "The secret of love is opening up your heart..." Looking at everyone this weekend, my husband, mother, sons and grandsons, daughter-in-love, siblings, nieces and nephews...I felt rich and filled with love.

Let James Taylor tell you about it!

I Am a Reader - "Drawing Conclusions" by Donna Leon

A number of years ago I stumbled on a book written by Donna Leon, "Death at La Fenice," and made the acquaintance of fictional Commissario Guido Brunetti, the Vice-Commissario of the Venice Police.  Over the years I have read through the series and feel like I have become personal friends with Guido, his very-much-loved wife, Paola; his teenage children: Chiara and Raffi; his trusted side-kick, Lorenzo Vianello; and the delightful, well-connected and computer-savvy secretary, Signorina Elettra.  A native of Venice, Guido Brunetti cares deeply about the safety of his city and does what he can to rid it of crime.  But he is nobody's fool...he views life, the bureaucracy and red tape of Italian institutions, the Catholic church, and human nature with a skeptical eye.  He also demonstrates finesse, the "Italian way" of getting things accomplished.  He knows how to set his body posture, tone and inflection of voice, even at the cost of his own self-image, to in a sense, manipulate his totally in-effective, pompous superiors, Vice-Questore Patta and Lieutenant Scarpa.

So I felt like I was coming home when I picked up Leon's latest novel, the 20th in the series, "Drawing Conclusions." 

The victim in this mystery is an elderly Italian woman found dead in her apartment from an apparent heart attack.  Brunetti's personal sense of justice spurs him on to answer all the questions in his mind before accepting this cause of death.  This quest has him follow various threads that lead back in time to the victim's past.  The characters we meet along the way, the victim's son, an elderly nun, a neighbor are well-drawn and believeable. Part of the pleasure of the book is wandering around the city of Venice with Brunetti.  It is written not just with wonderful descriptions of the city of Venice, its cafes and alleyways, but with insight into human nature and attention to the emotions that arise in human relationships.

What touches me most about these books is the person of Guido himself.  A sensitive, caring man, he delights in his family.  The interludes described when he is able to return home for the main noontime meal, il pranzo, with the family, the interactions with his wife and children, are all enjoyable to me, providing a peek into Italian domesticity.  I also appreciate how the author touches on various Italian social and political issues as well as immersing the reader in life as it is lived in Venice.

The author, Donna Leon, was born in New Jersey but has lived in Venice for thirty years.

Donna Leon at the Bridge of Sighs, Venice.

She was a lecturer in English Literature at the University of Maryland University College - Europe in Italy.  She was also a professor at the American Military base in Vicenza, Italy from 1981 to 1999.  Here is her official website.  Donna Leon was until recently the crime reviewer for the Sunday Times and is also an opera expert.  She has written the libretto for a comic opera and has set up her own opera company, Il Complesso Barocco. 

I am an avid reader and I especially enjoy books that transport me back to Italy.  It is the next best thing to actually walking the streets or in this case, riding a vaporreto.  This review is my contribution to the Books in Italy Challenge for the month of June.  To read other reviews submitted this month, click here.

I Am A Shopper - The Mar Vista Farmers' Market

One of the perks of living in southern California is that it is possible to find a Farmers' Market within a five mile radius of our home, every day of the week.  Today, after reading an article in a recent LA Times, we decided to check out the Mar Vista Farmers' Market just off Venice Blvd.  Three streets are blocked off and filled with stalls selling produce, fruit, flowers, nuts as well as prepared foods.

Mar Vista Farmers' Market

While you might think a Farmers' Market by any other name is still a Farmers' Market, each one has it's own flavor and vibe.  Some of the unique aspects of Mar Vista is a special service they provide to dog owners.  Since dogs are not permitted in the market area itself, one stall at the entrance is set up for "dog watching"....a safe friendly place where you can park your pet while you shop.  The volunteers work for tips only and it is even possible to arrange to have your pooch walked in the nearby neighborhood while you shop.  I also heard there is a bike valet there for bikers who have no place to safely park their bikes, but I did not see it.

Park Your Pet!

It is not unusual to see a local politician pressing the flesh like Janice Hahn, who is running for our newly vacated Congressional seat.

We have our regular routine.  Start in one spot walking up and down the front of the stalls to get a feel for what is in season this week and what the prices are.  Then we retrace our steps to make purchases.  It is days like this that I wish I were a talented painter...to capture the colors and vibrancy of all the items on display.

Tomatoes are beginning to show up and we decided to purchase two kinds for a taste test later:  an heirloom Purple Cherokee and a Shady Lady Hydroponically grown.  Homeboy Industries Bakery had a stall also and we bought a loaf of rye bread with currants that looked wonderful.

Homeboy Bakery

Citrus abounded and we bought Cara Cara and Navel oranges, two lush lemons and some Blood Oranges for an Olive Oil and Orange cake recipe I want to try.

This is the perfect time for strawberries.  The farmers come in from the Oxnard fields and the berries are so deliciously sweet.  They are smaller than the strawberries on steroids that you can find throughout the year...you know the ones...huge, dry and often with big white shoulders.  These smaller gems are red clear through and are lush and succulent.  I got a three pack of the wonderful Caramosa variety and we are having them with some sparkling wine before dinner.

What we bought...see the two types of tomatoes!

Jay's job is to keep track of me and to carry the produce bag.  His reward after the shopping is done is a treat...today we bought two taco's from Larry's Grill.

There is good news and bad news to Farmers' Markets.  I feel like breaking into song with the words..."How ya gonna keep them in the "supermarket" after they've seen the "Farmers' Market."  The good news is that the produce is so ready to be eaten, so prime, so seasonal that it leads to the bad news...I find myself dissatisfied with produce at the major grocery stores and will go without before I will settle for the produce that is lacking in taste and texture.

We appreciate the relationship that exists between the farmers and the "city folk."  Last year we attended a Panel discussion in Santa Monica where various farmers talked about their farms.  We realized that the Farmers' Markets provide an niche marketplace for the farmers who wants to make a living growing produce but are too small to compete in the large distribution chains.  So they pack up their goods in the wee hours of the mornings and set out to the city.  Here is a delightful video, worth the 7 minutes to watch, about A Tale of Two Carrots that was recently posted to the SlowFoodLA website:

A Tale of Two Carrots from Sustainca on Vimeo.

So I raise my eyes and glass in gratitude that I live in the "land of fruits and nuts...and vegetables!" Salute!

I Am A Wife - Celebrating our "First Date"

Thirteen years ago today, right about the time I am writing this post, I was in the women's restroom of TRW's Building 03, combing my hair and freshening my make-up as I got ready to drive over to the Redondo Beach Performing Arts Center to meet Jay Edie.  It was our first "official" date and he was taking me to see "The Man of LaManchia."  I close my eyes and I can picture him standing in front of the box office, wearing a dark blue suit and a light blue shirt.  When he saw me, his eyes lit up and he walked toward me and handed me two items. One was my ticket and the other was a cartoon he had clipped out of the morning paper to share with me.  Little did I know it would be the first of MANY clippings he would give to me over the next thirteen years.

So how did we celebrate our happy memory?  After tending to domestic tasks in the morning, we set out to enjoy the little bit of California sun that was trying to come out through the June gloom.  We drove past the Redondo Beach Performing Arts Center and had a moment of silence,

we spent some time at the Manhattan Beach Library browsing the new books,

we walked the Manhattan Beach strand enjoying our corner of paradise.

As we walked Jay reached for my hand and said..."I am still a romantic!" And he is.  When we came home Jay made us Cosmo's to enjoy on the front porch as we toasted that happy day.

13 years and one day ago we were oblivious to what "life" had in store for us...that our lives would never be the same again.  A reminder that you never know what is just around the curve on your journey of life.  I am so grateful that it was Jay!

I Am A Student of Life - Doing the Next Directed Thing

I love springtime because it always seemed infused with a spirit of hope.  Spring looks forward to new beginnings and new growth...especially in the garden.  Around the end of March I start my lists of what to plant in this year's vegetable garden, in April I order my seeds, in May I set the seeds out in seed trays and begin to actually touch the soil.  I visit blogs on gardening, reveling in the handiwork of other gardeners more skilled and more energetic than I and I begin to dream and envision what my garden might look like this year.  Then, something happens to me...I begin to procrastinate.  I look out at the present state of the garden and it is soooo far from the image I am holding in my mind, that I just stand there...frozen, unable to go out into the yard.  Even ironing appears more attractive in that moment.  The weeds have run wild with the recent rains, the soil seems so depleted, and decisions...where should the tomatoes go this year, what if the cutworms chomp down my baby cucumbers, will next week be June gloom and is it too early for beans to germinate?  I am overwhelmed with the task before me and paralyzed into inaction.

I know better than this.  I am a student of life and learned a long time ago...when life's circumstances had paralyzed me and rendered me a crying woman assuming the fetal position...that I had the power to deal with what life throws at me.  I did not have to eat the whole elephant in one bite.  I did not need to be held captive to fear.  I did not have to be overwhelmed by the vision of an ideal I held in my mind.  All I had to do was make a choice to just "do the next directed thing"...and MOVE.  I would ask myself, "How can I know the next directed thing?" and a dear friend told me..."When you get up in the morning...the next directed thing is to make your bed."  Look at what is front of you and take that step and it will move you in the direction you want to go.

When I was 46 years old I was given the opportunity to return to school to earn an MBA.  I was working fulltime managing a department and staff, still had a couple of sons at home.  Where would I find the time and the energy to tackle such a project?  Do the next directed thing...apply.  Do the next directed thing...enroll in one class.  Three years later I was walking across the grounds of Loyola Marymount University wearing a Master's academic hood. 

Recently I stepped on the scale and shuddered..."When did that happen!"  My ideal, or at least closer-to-ideal, body is 15 pounds lighter.  My mind screamed..." How will I ever lose some weight."  Do the next directed thing...have an apple for dessert.  Do the next directed thing...step out the door and go for a walk.  I am now six pounds lighter...not my ideal, but I don't let my mind go there. I just take the next directed step.

So, what did I do today in the garden?  I weeded a patch, spread some compost and planted an eight-ball zucchini squash, a Japanese cucumber, four golden beets, and three Blue Lake bean plants. 

Pole Green beans

8 Ball Zucchini

I transplanted some tomato seedlings into larger pots

and I watered the rest of the garden.  Tomorrow I will take another step.

I Am A Planner - Establishing a Lifeline

My latest knitting project is a cardigan sweater, called the February Lady Sweater, that I am knitting for my mother. It will be a gift for her on her 95th birthday in August...if I complete it!  Two nights ago I was knitting as I watched "Bones" on TV and I became so engrossed in the story that I made a mistake and ended up with stitches dropped. Normally this would not be a problem, but this sweater has an intricate pattern that results in a lacy design.  I had to rip out rows and rows of work and spent about half an hour on my knees on the floor trying to carefully recapture each stitch within the pattern.  I asked myself..."Why did I not create a "Lifeline."

A typical definition for a lifeline is a support mechanism that enables people to survive or to continue doing something.  Sailors toss out a lifeline to someone who has gone overboard.  Others consider a lifeline something that is an insurance to help mitigate in an emergency.  For a knitter, a lifeline is a temporary thread of scrap yarn (some knitters even use dental floss) inserted with a needle through a row of stitches.  If you make a mistake, or have some other knitting calamity, you can rip out the rows down to the lifeline and easily place the stitches held by the lifeline on to a knitting needle. And the knitting can proceed with a minimum amount of distress.

Needless to say, after rescuing my work, I immediately added a lifeline...kind of like locking the barn after the horse got out.

But it caused me to think about other aspects of my life and question, "Do I have other lifelines in place?"

Here are the lifelines I have established:

I have a surplus of canned food items (thank you Costco) in the garage and vegetables growing in the garden  should there be an emergency and we could not get food from a store.

I have a large backpack prepared with emergency preparedness items stashed in the trunk of my car should there be an earthquake or fire.

I have an ICE (In Case of Emergency) number entered into my cell phone contacts list should the police or paramedics need to notify someone of an accident.

I have our living trust and insurance documents in a special container along with a letter of instructions for my son, Michael, should anything unforeseen happen to us and he would need to take care of our affairs.

I have a $100 bill hidden away where only I know it is should I need some fast money.

I have a spare key hidden somewhere that only Jay and I know, should we be locked out of our house.

I have all my documents backed up regularly on an external disc should my computer die.

I have a durable power of attorney for health in place should I not be able to make decisions about my health care.

We have long-term care insurance should we need care and not want to be a burden to our family.

I have friendships that I try to nurture should I need a shoulder to cry on.

I have a husband that I try to keep central to my life should I need to share a joy or a sorrow.

Life is in session and unforeseen events will happen.  I know the saying..."Man plans, and God laughs!" but having lifelines in place helps me sleep better at night, knowing that at least I have done what I can to mitigate an emergency...whether it is only a dropped stitch on a knitted garment or a major life event.