Thursday, November 17, 2011

I Am A Daughter - Caring For My Mother

This is a quick message to say why I have not been posting.  My mother, Grace Rinaldi...95 years young...has been hospitalized with a serious medical condition.  I was in Cabo San Lucas for an annual week-long vacation to our timeshare.  My mother began to experience stomach pain after I left but would not let my brother take her to the hospital...she was waiting for my return.  The day I returned I went to her home and immediately took her to the UCLA Emergency Room in Santa Monica.  She was experiencing stomach pain that she dismissed as not important.  She had a perforated bowel and needed immediate surgery.

She tolerated the surgery well and is now in the Critical Care Unit.  She still is intubated with a respiratory tube as they wait for her kidneys to begin to function.  I am with her from about 9 am to 6 pm.  I am her voice...her advocate...her hand holder...her head caressor...her reassurer...I am the parent and she is my child.   I cannot begin to tell you the emotions that flow through my body as I care for her.  She is so helpless and dependent upon me. 

She is still feisty....when I tell her the details of the situation, she rolls her eyes...she expresses her frustration and her anger and annoyance are all sign of life to me.  I applaud them.  It is our hope that tomorrow they will be able to remove the tube and she will be able talk...that may be a blessing and it may be a curse!  She can not talk but we have found ways to communicate.  She is ever the school teacher and she writes with her finger into the air above her and I call out the letters as she writes.  I realize how trapped she is in her body and I want to be her voice.  When she is able to talk again, she will let us all know how she feels. But I so admire her spirit. 

This experience is teaching me how important it is to have someone who is willing to be patiently with you...to be willing to wait while you try to communicate...to help you not be imprisoned in your body.  We live in a fast-paced world.  Doctors come in  and shout at her because they know she is hard of hearing but they can't wait for a sign from her that she has heard them.  She might as well be the headboard of the bed.  My role is to be her voice.  To advocate for her and I willing assume the role.

Grace Montalto Rinaldi

Please keep us in your thoughts.

5 comments:

  1. Blessings and healing to you and your mother.

    I too have an aged mom, 94 on December 7th. She was told she had a mass on her kidney. Urologist wanted to operate and she said I want another opinion. 2nd opinion said she was no candidate for surgery at her age but he wanted to do a biopsy to discover what it was. That didn't happen either and she is doing fine. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. I can see for your mom that wasn't an option. I hope she heals and is around for awhile.

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  2. Our thoughts are with you ... may BOTH of you heal. .... Marilyn & Al

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  3. Oh, bless you both! She's in good hands, and your support is most appreciated, for sure. I do hope she regains her voice and her health. She looks great in that picture, btw.
    Happy Thanksgiving to you both.

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  4. My thoughts are with you.

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  5. Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts...my mother is having an amazing recovery. She is doing well but we still take it one day at a time.

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