I Am A Crazy Person - Trying to Knit a Lace Shawl

When I was a child, there were times when the pressure of dealing with three small children was enough to turn my mother into a crazy person.  She would look at us with stress and frustration contorting her face and say vehemently..."You kids are going to send me to Massillon!"  Massillon, Ohio was known for many things...one being their successful High School Football team...but when I hear the name, I think of the Massillon State Hospital for the Insane, founded in 1898 by then Governor William McKindley, and I think of my mother's dire prediction!

Mom at the stove cooking a huge meal with the kids in the kitchen!

This afternoon as I was sitting, knitting, in my livingroom, these words echoed in my head, because I was convinced that I was going crazy!  For the first time in my knitting career, I am attempting to knit a lace project.  It is a small shawl that is knit using very fine yarn and size 4 needles.  The stitches are not difficult, I can knit, I can purl, I can do a yarn-over, I can do a knit-2-together and its opposite, slip, slip, knit together.  So I should be able to do this.  But if you have ever tried to knit lace, you know the challenge of not losing stitches in the process. I oh-so-carefully ply my needles and oh-so-vigilantly watch my stitches and yet when I get to the end of the row and count the stitches, there is often one stitch missing.  How did it happen?  I cannot ignore it.  The missing stitch would throw off the entire pattern so I must tediously go back over the row and find where the stitch is missing.  God forbid Jay should innocently ask me a question while I am in this recovery process!!  This is a crazy-making activity!

So why should I even bother to do this pattern.  Why do people climb mountains?  Because of the challenge.  Because they can!  The pattern I am attempting is the small size of the Trevi Shawl designed by Anne Hanson.

The Large Sized Trevi Shawl by Anne Hanson

I have held the finished sample shawl in Twist, my local yarn shop.  It is lovely, it drapes so nicely, it is perfect to carry in your purse to take out and toss over your shoulders if you feel a chill.

Sample Trevi at Twist:Yarns of Intrigue, my local yarn shop.

There is such a sense of accomplishment when a challenging project is completed and I want to prove to myself that I can do this.

I also find that this project teaches me lessons.  I must go slowly. It is not something that can be rushed, something knit between running to the store and putting dinner on the stove.  It must be done slowly, allowing myself to just settle into the activity.  I have to be present and pay attention.  I cannot have other mental conversations going in my head, or be watching the latest episode of "The Closer" or have my telephone tucked between my shoulder and my neck.  I have to concentrate and be present to the very act of knitting.  And I need to breathe!

So while it is progressing slowly, it is progressing.

First 15 rows of the pattern completed successfully!!

Each day I spend a period of time devoted to my lace shawl.  It has become a meditative time for me...a time to relax, clear my mind, follow the pattern, follow the stitches and breathe.  And if I have lost a stitch, I have my dental floss life-line I can frog back to and start from that place again.  I will not go crazy!