I Am An Officiant…Celebrating Marc’s Wedding

Several months ago, Marc and Charlotte talked to me about their upcoming wedding.  They described what the ceremony meant to them and how they wanted to have a very personal and public witness of their vows to each other.  They also wanted an officiant who knew them both well and would speak for them of what they valued in their relationship and marriage…and they asked…would I be that person!  To say I was stunned would be an understatement.  They had done all the research, told me where to go online to become affiliated with a “ministry” and told me to complete the paperwork, agree to the stipulations, and obtain a license that would allow me to officiate at weddings in the State of California.  This was a role that, in my wildest dreams, would never have imagined performing and it turned out to be the most rewarding and emotional moment I have experienced as Marc’s mother.  The father of the bride imagines throughout his life, the day he will walk his daughter down the aisle.  The mother of the groom imagines sitting on the right side of the aisle, smiling nicely…not being the one to guide her son and his bride through their marriage commitment.  

In the state of California, anyone who is affiliated with a ministry can be licensed to celebration officiant and witness a legal marriage.  I became affiliated with the First Nation Ministry. I became familiar with the marriage laws of the state and promised to abide by them.

The entire experience was a once in a lifetime kind of thing!  Initially it was the conversations it allowed me to have with both of Marc and Charlotte leading up to the wedding.  Sharing on questions such as “What do you want your marriage ceremony to be? What is important about marriage?  What does commitment mean? What are your childhood memories that you carry with you to this day? Why do you love each other and what do you want to promise each other?” gave me a glimpse into their inner hearts and allowed me to incorporate their thoughts and values into the ceremony.

The rehearsal was great…Marc, being the event public relations guru that he is, had already formulated the structure of the wedding…who would walk in with who, who would stand where…but when the ceremony itself was to begin, he turned it over to me.

On the day of the wedding, The Grand patio in Long Beach was transformed into a Disney wonderland…with blue and silver color combinations highlighted by thousands of little twinkling lights.  It was Charlotte’s dream realized.  Her dad, Bossie, walked her down the aisle to the beautiful melody of “When You Wish Upon a Star”… she said she did wish upon a star for Marc.

Then the ceremony began and I was able to speak to them from my heart…to reiterate much of what they had told me while also interjecting some of the beliefs that I hold about relationship that come from my years of living. 

When it came to their vows, I was so moved by the honesty and candor with which they spoke to each other…they spoke from their hearts and they could have been the only two people in the patio.  

As I walked them through the forms of the ceremony, they looked at me so intently, listening carefully and I could see the child in my son’s face.  He listened and it was as if he said… "Yes, Mom…I promise I will do all that you say!”  

I was proud that I maintained my composure and didn’t dissolve into tears of the joy that I was feeling.  I only came close when I extended my hand and gave them a blessing…asking for all that I hope for their life together.

The rest of evening carried on in the same personal, intimate spirit.  Happiness reigned!  

 

Marc emcee’d the entire evening, introducing the various family members and friends who made toasts,

 

dancing the first dance and the dances with the parents, 

thanking everyone in such a personal way and finally even joining with his nephew Gabriel to surprise Charlotte by singing a duet to her.

 

The next day I completed my duties by signing their official marriage license and getting it to the country recorder’s office.

My officiant license is good for two years when it would have to be renewed.  I doubt that I would officiate at any other marriages, but the fact that I was able to do this for my dear, dear son and his beloved bride has truly been a highlight of my life.

Now it is a memory!  But it is a memory that fills my heart.  I now have two daughters-in-love and just like, Milli, Charlotte is amazing...and she and Milli have bonded as sisters.

All my children and grandchildren were present.  We were all functioning as a family unit while we walked with Marc as he passed another of life's milestones.  Michael, his brother and best man.

Joe his big brother, gave a great toast and kept Vito, the ringbearer, in line.

Joe giving a toast to his brother and Charlotte

Nikolas, his nephew was the troubleshooter, resolving minor issues that popped up and making sure all the seated guests were enjoying themselves.

Nik and Uncle Marc!

Gabriel entertained the guests with his fantastic duet with his Uncle.  Jay and Marc's father, Joe, sharing in the day.

Our Family!

Again I am left with the awareness of how fortunate I am and that it is family, and love, and being there for each, and encouraging, and acceptance, and rejoicing in each other's happiness that bring meaning to our life.

Thank you, Marc, for allowing me to be so intimately a part of your and Charlotte's day.

"May God bless both of you and your marriage…

May you enjoy a long and healthy life together.

May your home be filled with laughter, with good friends who stand by you, with the patter of little feet and with lots of photographs!

May Vito continue to delight you.

May you resolve any disagreements as quickly as possible.

May you always turn to each other in times of difficulty.

May your life together be one of growth and new discoveries.
May you always feel that what you have is enough.

May you always feel safe and secure in the love you have professed and shared today."