I Am A Renovator - The Process of Renewal

When Jay and I bought our manufactured home almost 3 years ago, we knew that what we were purchasing was the view from our deck of the fantastic Pacific Ocean.  

The house itself was old, worn and tired, but so were we.  We said we could clean it up and make it work and when it didn’t we would go out and sit on the deck!   

Gradually we made small improvements and it was certainly livable…except for the OLD (read cracked, stained, dirty grout) tile floor 

and the embarrassing old, worn guest bathroom.   So we did the math and decided to replace the tile floor, replace the old, worn and tired appliances and redo the small bathroom.

 

It has been 4 weeks of contractors in the house and we are in the home stretch. Now there are shiny new appliances gracing the lovely new tile flooring in my kitchen, a small bathroom that welcomes guests

and when I glance into them, I smile and my heart lifts.

While all this contracted renovation was going on, something else was occurring.  I realized how similar I felt about myself and my life.  I am also older, worn a bit, and crackly. I began to feel a desire to relook at other things in my house, my life and my body.  I began a broader  “renovation campaign.”  In my house, I saw piles of magazines that had been accumulating and sat down to go through and decide what to keep and what to give away.  I saw messy drawers and took 10 minutes to empty the contents, refold and neaten the items.   

And each time, afterwards, I would smile and my heart would lift.  

In my life, I saw things hidden away that I used to enjoy (pictures, music cd’s), and began to take them out, clean them up and put them within easy reach. I recalled activities that I had engaged in but somehow forgot, like a few minutes of morning meditation or being more mindful during the day, and began to make new commitments.  And each time, I would smile and feel my heart lift.

These tasks led me to relook at the noise and clutter in my head…the thoughts that create a messiness in my mind.  The thoughts I hold about my body, my age, my future.  How do I renovate them?  I AM old and worn and my parts CAN'T be replaced.  Yet, somehow this remodel has had a psychological effect on me that is positive.  Rather than thinking of possible future changes, I am content and happy to stay in this present moment and appreciate what is.  My body, though aging, still serves me well.  I am surrounded by people I love and who love me. 

 I have opportunities to share myself with them.   

So what started as a little renovation project, has expanded...mission creep...into many more areas of my life.  The gift is that with these thoughts in my head,  I can say that I feel  “spruced up,” younger, more energetic. 

So, I smile and feel my heart lift.  

  I think I will go sit on the deck!