I Am A Bionic Woman - Having Cataract Surgery

I guess I could be called the Bionic Woman. In the past two weeks I had the lens in both my eyes replaced with super-functional, super-expensive, super-duper replacement lens called Crystalens, which are designed to correct cataracts and more so.  Called multivision lens they give a fuller, more natural range of vision, flexing like the eye's natural lens, allowing better sight at all distances. So, as my last eye continues to heal and adjust to the new lens, I am anticipating the day when I will break out into dance singing, "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone!"

Having had severe myopia since I was a child, my eyesight has always been a source of anxiety for me. I received my first pair of glasses in the third grade.

Fred, Chuck, Patricia around 1951

When I graduated from high school, I used all my gift money to purchase my first pair of hard contact lens which I wore until 13 years ago when I had lasik surgery on both eyes.  That surgery was like going to Lourdes and being cured. For the first time in my life, I could wake up, open my eyes and see the hands of the clock. However, age does its number on all of us and a few years ago my vision began to change and I could not see so clearly; my vision was becoming altered by cataracts.

A cataract is a clouding of the lens of the eye that happens to almost all of us as we age, a result of the proteins in the lens breaking down.  Being very nervous about having such an important surgery, my friend, Harriet, suggested I go to see a specialist who is renown for challenging surgeries, Dr. Khodabakhsh and he immediately inspired my confidence. The good news is that this particular body part is easily replaceable. We are fortunate to live in a time where technology has made this procedure so easy and readily available.  Imagine living in the 1800s like Bach and Handal who both died of complications of a very rudimentary cataract procedure. So, I can see clearly now...colors are brighter, shapes are more defined.  While I can see faces, signs, birds and flowers I find myself thinking about all the other things I might NOT see so clearly.

To exist in the world, to interact with others, to be a part of a family and a community, I have to see with more than my physical eye. I also see with my mind, my senses, my emotions and my heart. So I find myself thinking about how those other aspects of my vision may become clouded and wondering how I might correct that vision distortion. I am human so I go through life forming opinions and perceptions about events and people. I question the accuracy of those filters that I place on my vision. Could some of them cause distortions that prevent me from being open or to really SEEING people?  I realize that the ability to form judgments is part of the human survival mechanism to alert us to when we are safe or at risk from others. But I question their validity and wonder how I can attempt to see more clearly in my interactions with others.

A friend recently suggested a might like to read "The Wise Heart" by Jack Kornfield,

psychologist and Buddhist teacher that presents Buddhist psychology, starting with the first principle: To see the inner nobility and beauty in all human beings. Kornfield suggests a way to begin to see this in others by shifting the time frame and imagining the person as a child, still young and innocent and to be reminded that we are fellow travelers on this journey of life, each struggling with burdens and wanting happiness and dignity.

Recently we watched the animated movie, Avatar, with Gabriel, where the Na'vi humanoid inhabitants of the planet Pandora greet each other by saying, "I see you."  This greeting was an acknowledgement of the other that implies, I don't just see you but I see all of you...I see the inner goodness in you.

So while my physical eye heals I will also try to remove the clouded cataracts from all the other aspects of my vision and try to be able to say, when I meet those who cross my path, "I see you!"