I Am An Optimist - Starting Over Again

Labor Day weekend marks the end of summer and for me it marked the end of my "summer garden" or what passed for my "summer garden!"  This year's bounty was a great disappointment and we pondered the fact that we were fortunate not to be dependent upon our harvests to eat!  Plants that started out vigorous just seemed to give up mid-season.  Tomatoes were scraggly and produced very little fruit.  Beans shriveled and died.  Cucumbers developed powdery mildew and shriveled away.  Was it the overcast and cool weather?  Was the soil, so sandy that it can't seem to hold nutrients, no matter how much we amend?  Was it lack of water due to it running off the sandy soil?  Was it disease or blight due to stressed plants? Was it some fiendish plot by the "garden gods?"  In any case, as I pulled out plants I resolved that I was done.  I am not going to garden anymore.  I am a failure!

Pathetic tomato plant

Pathetic basil plant

However...as we got all the remaining plant material out, my peasant genes began to stir with thoughts such as..."What if we removed some of this sand and added more humus to the soil?  What if we talked to the Master Gardener at the nursery and got some more ideas?  What if we considered putting in a drip system to apply water at a slow, steady rate?  What if we just stayed green this winter with lettuce, spinach, kale and swiss chard...and maybe a few peas?  A little seed of hope began to germinate in my soul and my head began to lift off my chest.  What do I have to lose by trying again?  Maybe this growing season will be different. So off we went to the local independent nursery...Deep Roots.  The gardener said one thing...humus, humus, humus, humus.

My hired hand...works for pasta!

There are many things in life that are not easy to "do over" or to "try again."  Raising children is kind of a one shot deal...but I can affect the life of my grandchildren...to a point!  Taking care of my skin so it won't wrinkle is kind of a one shot deal...but I can moisturize and keep the aging skin soft and flexible...to a point!  In my past I have started over.  In midlife I changed professions and went back to school to earn new degrees.  I walked (no ran) into a second marriage that has continued to enrich my life.  I have ripped out knitted items that didn't hang just right and knitted them over.  Growing a garden is an activity that lets me try again, and again, and again. 

This morning I read a blog post entitled "Labor With Love." It talked about the importance of "doing what you love and following your heart."  Last week I listened to Steve Jobs' commencement address at Stanford in 2005 where he reminded the graduates that we are all dying and it is important to trust your instincts, follow your heart, remember the value of being a beginner again and not to waste your time living someone else's life.

Putting my hands in the soil and nurturing plants, picking fresh items and carrying them into the kitchen for dinner, sharing bounty with friends and family...are all things that fill my heart and make me feel alive.  So today I look at the lower terrace of our front slope and I do not see barrenness...I see a blank palette, filled with potential.

A blank palette.

  and I feel hopeful!