I Am A Blogger - Getting Inspiration

My blog has been silent for so long.  Friends have asked me about it and my reply has been that I have been busy OR I have not been “inspired!”  They find that hard to believe because they say,

 “You have that darling little grandson, Gino....

…and that handsome young teenage grandson, Gabriel…

How can you not be inspired to write!”

I just celebrated another birthday.  As I contemplate my advancing years I have conflicting reactions.   On the one hand, I am rather shocked that I am so old!  In my head I am still 40 years old but a glance in the mirror adjusts that impression. I find myself facing the reality of aging and dying. (Not immediately…but I would probably not invest in a 30 year warranty on any appliance!) 

On the other hand,  I am happier, more at peace with myself and those I treasure, than I have ever been in my life.  There is a tranquility I carry around with me that is like being wrapped in a warm blanket. There is an acceptance of “what is” that allows me to let go of the need to go chasing windmills.  I don’t have to be responsible for everything and everyone.  I don’t have to fix everything and make it better.  I can just be myself…care…understand…reach out and hope that things will be OK.

As a result, I am liberated to just experience the joy of my grandchildren.  I am fortunate that two of them live close enough for me to be involved in their lives.

Every Wednesday is Mima Day with Gino.  

I go to his house and spend hours with him while his mom gets to have some free time to herself.  What a gift to watch this little boy develop into his own little person.  I had forgotten how much babies change in that first year of life.  Every week he is a new person.  If I did not see him so often, I wouldn’t notice the change.  I would not recognize when he developed a new skill, like learning to unbuckle his pacifier strap or spray the water bottle or stick out his tongue. 

I would not be able to understand his babbles…that he says “whassis” when he wants to show me something, that a pointing finger and a grunt “unhhh” means I want that.  I would not feel my heart fill when he stands in front of me for my attention

or lifts his arms to be picked up, or bobs his little face into mine to give me a kiss.  I would not be reminded of the wonder of seeing an airplane fly across the sky.

And yes, we interact.  He acts silly when he knows it makes me laugh.  

He tries to feed me his goldfish. He lays his head on my chest when he wants to be rocked.  And he stamps his feet when he wants his way!  

I used to have Mima Day on Wednesdays with Gabriel also, before he grew up and had a social calendar of his own.  Now I get to chase after to him to see him play hockey

 or perform in a school play.

But I still look forward to sleep-overs 

when we can connect…like our wonderful time together last night.   

Gabe asked for my help with his Internship Project for school…he wanted to create a video of his Family History and he needed my input!  “Be still my beating heart!”  What a gift to be able to tell him the family stories, share the family pictures, introduce him to his ancestors.  What fun to watch him work the technology of the computer, the software, the microphone for narration. 

He, too, is coming into his own.  When the project was finished he said to me “What I love best about my two cultures, the Italian and the Filipino, is that they both value family and caring for others!” His “I love you, Mima!” when I dropped him off to school this morning, will carry me through the day.

I have vivid memories of my grandparents and feel the thread of continuity when I recall them.  I think the love children get from a grandparent is a love they can't get anywhere else. Parents have to worry about who children will become in the future; their role is to be providers and disciplinarians. But grandparents can just enjoy children for who they are in the moment. The love of a grandparent can be freer, more unconditional, and far less psychologically complex than a parent's love.

And it is a two-way street because look at the benefits I receive from them.  I am convinced that my grandchildren contribute significantly to my satisfaction with my life and my to my happiness. Because of them, I am appreciative of the gift of the present, more in tune with the world around me, just as it is TODAY! I would never trade where I am in my life’s journey to go back in time.

Thank you, Gabriel and Gino, for the happiness you bring to me.  

Thank you, Michael and Milli, Marc and Charlotte, for allowing me to share in the lives of your children.  

Yes, my grandchildren do “inspire” me!